Being a weirdo is the best because life is never boring and you attract other weirdos, multiplying life’s fun and laughs. This is my disclaimer for calling people weirdos. Please direct your complaints to: notlistening@youllgetoverit.com.

The Masons are trying to recruit me. Maybe they think I’m a dude or perhaps it’s due to my love of stone. I mean, it is such a classic and timeless material, if you exclude stack stone wall cladding that was popular in the early 2000’s. I was bonkers for stack stone at that time, but my renovating budget did not allow for such turn-of-the-century luxury slash innovation which made me pretty sad at the time, but pretty smug now.

The Freemasons have been around since 1400 and something so they probably had the good taste to reject stack stone cladding and in fact, were known to lobby heavily against its manufacture* citing bastardisation of their time honoured skills and craftsmanship.

Their under-the-radar recruitment campaign to have me – a non-dude, non-dues paying stone lover – in their sort-of-secret organisation started when I found a laminated card with some sort of Mason hierarchy diagram, in the draw of this sweet telephone table upon purchase.

Was the elderly gent who sold it to me a Mason? Or was he their recruiter, using LinkedIn and the drawers of vintage furniture destined for hire as tools of the trade?

Oh you Freemason lovable weirdos! I don’t understand you (though I thank Wiki for a bit of info) but I take your secrecy and your mystery very seriously. Because when I went to find the laminated Mason’s hierarchy card, IT HAD DISAPPEARED. I put it in the safest place known to man – under a fridge magnet, and now it is gone.

Coincidence? Or conspiracy? I’ll be filing this with the real stories about Tupac (as if that was a hologram), Princess Di and Dodi (they live on French Island) and Elvis (he works at the scrap metal yard in Hastings). After all, as The Simpsons insightfully point out: Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star? WE DO! WE DO!

*This is completely unfounded. OR IS IT???

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Telephone tables are awesome and we have several for hire for your Melbourne weddings, events and parties. Use them as a unique way to have a signing area at your wedding ceremony, as a table and chair combined in your lounge area (efficiency!) or as a place to put cards and spondoolies for your wishing well. May also be useful to put a telephone on. 

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